Deciding to take the big chop or transitioning is a very big step. To do it incites boldness and bravery, but it demands commendation! In this walk I've seen women who have literally SHAVED their heads bald. Have you seen this? Even before I notice the curves in her hips, the feminine stance or the perfect girly lips, I know she is ALL woman. She exudes confidence, self love, elegance, brilliance, beauty, power and love. Let's face it, her presence is electrifying! When she walks into a room, she demands the attention of everyone; men, women, and children alike, but please FORGIVE her, she doesn' do this on purpose. She couldn't possibly fathom the power she would garner once taking this amazingly daring leap of faith. After the dive she feels the constant glares, she senses the whispers, and she knows that she controls the room in some odd sort of way. She is powerful. The essence of a woman who dares to cut off every strand of her "glory" demands the respect of not only a culture, but of a society, and when she walks in the room...she gets it.
(Inspired by KMOJ's Lisa Moy, Sernicia, and Kendis) You go girls!
Now, I didn't shave my hair completely off as these brave women did, but it's been 11 months since I chopped my tresses from ten inches to a half inch. I've learned sooo much. I big chopped at 2am after transitioning for only 5 months. I'd had enough! My hair was much easier to deal with when it was really short, but when it started growing, the maintenance was almost overwhelming. I realized I needed to be patient and to LEARN my hair, something I'd never done. With that I wanted to share a few things for those of you who are considering going down this road to "glory".
The "Ten Commandments for Naturals"
1. Do your research first, find out what people are saying on youtube and natural hair blogs. Remember, you will ultimately need to find out what works for YOUR hair.
2. Make sure this is what you really want to do, there is no turning back. Once your hair hits the floor it's a done deal.
3. Be preapared for naysayers and those who just aren't used to seeing you "like this". Don't get upset when people ask "why did you cut off your hair, or if they tell you they "liked your hair better before" (straight and long). They have a right to their opinion. Be honest and communicate your thoughts as well. Don't walk away from the conversation wishing you would have responded differently.
4. Try everything until you find out what works for your hair, AND then stick to it. Protective styles such as twists, flat twists and braids keep you from putting your hands in your hair and from prematurely pulling strands from the root. Get used to the twists. If you haven't worn braids or other things in your hair, it will take some getting used to. You have to get adjusted to seeing those "things" in your head.
5. Take risks! Natural hair is a lot more "forgiving" than relaxed hair. If it doesn't fall the way you want, it still looks funky in a great kinda way!
5. Take risks! Natural hair is a lot more "forgiving" than relaxed hair. If it doesn't fall the way you want, it still looks funky in a great kinda way!
6. Don't compare your hair to anyone else's and know that what works for someone else may not work for you.
7. Be patient, your hair will grow, you will get used to the new you, and other people will get used to it as well. Use flat twists to stretch the hair, it will be growing and you won't realize it for a while if you get lots of shrinkage like I do.
8. Be a good support for others considering this route and don't bash those who aren't ready to get rid of the creamy crack just yet.
9. Condition, Condition, and Co-wash!
10. EMBRACE it! Allow yourself to fall in love with your hair, the hair God gave you. Enjoy the opportunity to finally get to know all of you! It will make it easier for everyone else when you embrace it.
After one year -- I'm loving this stage, can't wait to see what happens next, this hair does its own thing sometimes!
Written by Author, Blogger, Public Speaker, and Sexual Abuse Advocate De'Vonna Bentley-Pittman
Author of "My Pretty and Its Ugly Truth" A Memoir
